me and a rented 10' truck said goodbye to Bovina

our first stop was the open door.  

i was crushed to see that the open door is closed for good.  

here my kids and i found countless treasures for pennies. 

a whole bag of clothes for a dollar.  fun t shirts.  
an orange fake fur double breasted coat.  

a baby's orange hunting cap with ear flaps.  
dishes.  lamps.  furniture.  

and not only the thrill of finding something in the endless piles 
of depressing cast offs, 

but the thrill of finding one of the few moments 
when the open door was actually open for business.

next stop was one of my dependable farm stands 

run by a wonderful woman named Kathy; we have always referred to the stand as "28".

when i first started coming to Bovina, the money boxes weren't locked.  

still, the help-yourself farm stand is always a thrill 

and one of my favorite ways to buy produce

the Bovina library is one of this country's greatest treasures.  really.

many of the books have calligraphy on the lending card pockets.  

there are so many incredible first editions of both kids and adult books.  

i have really missed using this library the last few years, and now nevermore.

across the street from the library is the playground.  

this dome always reminds me of an incredible photo of Mary 

with a huge scab on her arm from falling off of something.

when the kids were younger they used to beg as we drove by

to get out of the car and play after driving 4 hours to get up here.  

we almost always said no, because we just wanted to 

get to the trailer and get settled.  

but i wish i had said yes more often.

i am not including any photos of the trailer 

since i have always hated it and wanted

 nothing more than burn it down.  

but the land on Huff Road is amazing 

and lovely and will be in my heart forever.

the first place i would always go after arriving was the rock. 

 it is actually two rocks.  

when the kids were little all four of us would sit there 

and enjoy the view towards the mountains, 

and at dusk watch for deer.  

as the kids got older i would go by myself.  

it is a good place to think, and to cry, which i did a lot of here.

 the view from the rock

from the rock i would usually walk down the path lined with pine trees.  

i could never walk this way without thinking of sledding here in winter.  

my favorite memory is when one year i got a camera for christmas 

and we made movies of me and the girls from the back of the sled.  

sadly i have lost them.

one of my favorite spots is this old apple tree 

growing alongside a rock wall.  

there is usually some water that runs under the wall; 

more or less depending on the time of year.

emma's dog eloise and i used to come here 

every time she came up for a visit.  

she loved rooting around for fallen apples and 

hopping on and off the wall.  

i would lie on the wall and look up.
sometimes i would bring knitting.

on labor day 2016 this is the last place i walked with eloise.  

she died later that day after eating some 

wild mushrooms growing on the property.  

now when i come to the apple tree 

i always cry a little missing her.  

she was a wonderful dog and hiking partner.

i love this set of burch trees.  

we planted them the first year we were here.

one summer we came here for dinner in the back of the red truck.

we used to talk about making a sleeping cabin here made of glass.

so many beautiful mossy rocks in the woods

 a broken hunting stand

 one of the many rock walls

fall forest floor

the hammock and the tree house with swings.  

the tree house was a bit late for the kids; 

they had kind of grown out of it by the time it was finished, 

but they did use it a bit.  

we had a pulley that brought a wire basket up and down.  

the ladder is a bit scary.  

i would use the platform for yoga in the summer.

there are so many other places and things i love up here 
that i don't have photos of.  
but i will remember them.  and people i will miss.  
all the dinners shared with alan pam and rosie.  
all the canning, cooking, and baking i did 
in that little trailer kitchen which was weirdly efficient.  
the farmer's market veggie pies.  the yarn lady up the mountain.  
stewart's before it got sold.  
dubben's old timey hardware store.  the co op.  
the fish store which is no more.  table on ten.  
driving on beautiful winding country roads all alone.  
midnight mass at the old stone church.  
all the holidays.  long weeks in summer.  
driving the pick up.  swimming in the pond and the andes pool.  
millions of stars.  camp fires.  barbecues.  eating outside.  silence.